It’s all she’s ever wanted. And now she has it.

A mate. A friend. A closeness. A peer to learn from and share with.

It’s all I’ve ever wanted for her. And now I’m scared.

He seems nice. He as ADHD. He has some troubles. He’s only 18 and he’s putting his house in order. He is her boyfriend.

The Rose told me all this and more in one of her precious notes.  One of thousands of tumbling words and emotions she has written over the years. Each one a window to her soul. A peak into her mind, a life she finds hard to articulate.

She usually describes her world as feeling  cold and outside and alone.

Now she says she feels warm and included and part of something. It’s a huge step for her and it’s new to us all. We’ve all got some adjusting and re balancing to do. The dynamics have changed,

I congratulated her this week on her first boyfriend. She screwed up her face and said:

“No Mum I’ve had loads before”

“Really?” I questioned.

“Yes. Well, they were just DAY  boyfriends on Facebook , plus that one who was a liar”

“OK so what makes this one different? 

“He makes me calm Mum. I help him and it makes me calm. And I am going to prove to you that you can trust me to be a grown up”

Oh my baby. My Rose. I just hope I be can be grown up enough for you.