Watching in awe as The Rose grows up and unfurls beautifully, but what scares me most is her behaviour with boys.

One day she’s going to get into THAT situation and I’m scared.

Guiltily, I’m almost grateful she doesn’t go out much, but happily we do get lots of visitors dropping by and I watch with dread and fascination as she makes her moves on their sons. Draping herself around some, totally blanking others or telling them straight how gorgeous they are or that they are “Like brothers but y’ know, totally NOT like brothers if you know what I mean nudge nudge!!”

She’s a stranger to subtelty but – oooh but she so wants a boyfriend.

So far she’s focused mainly on boys she’s grown up. Boys who totally get her and it’s a safe and warm thing. It’s just ‘The Rose’ – they know her and even as they themselves bump along through teenage-angst and their own relationships, they don’t skip a beat – but what if…? I mean when.

I’ve discussed sex many times with The Rose (see previous posts!) It’s not easy, we get all tangled up in stuff and we giggle a lot (just not necessarily at the same things!) But she’s super cool and as clued up as theory will allow – but I’m still nervous.

So the other day, I reminded her again what we’d discussed. What she could expect if she  got into ‘that’ situation. She knows the conversation pretty well and she’s prepared. To my  relief she still seemed confident and unfazed, but during this familiar ‘chat’ she cast me a long, sideways, suddenly very grown up look.

“Mum?” her brow furrows, “Tell me again. When does he have to wear a condom?”

“All the time”,  I respond with a self satisfied inner glow of a parental job well done.

“But how will I know if he’s wearing it?” she puzzles.

“You’ll see it my love” I reassure her in a syrupy drawl and throwing in for good measure “You’ll feel it too” .

She looks up quickly, suddenly shocked and  turns her eyes up and to the left as she always does when she’s absorbing a big thought. I can see it there, gathering itself together, being hearded into line and filed away. I’m hoping she’s OK, staying calm and not geting angry or confused.

After a couple of minutes she snaps her eyes back onto mine – levels a straight look right at me and raises her eyebrows.

“All the time Mum? It’s going to be really embarrassing. What if we’re walking round town? It’s going to look really stupid”.

Oooops, hold on a sec,  we’ve a bit more chatting to do.