After the session at anger management clinic (see prior post – she was just 15 and still undiagnosed) and her astonishing display of teenage hormones, we decided we needed to take stock and approach The Rose with the same openness and honesty she obviously felt comfortable with (but without so much panting and deep breathing!)
She was worryingly ‘ripe for the picking’ and she even more worringly seemed not to care who plucked her! We were still in the dark about Aspergers – still not figuring it was about to knock on our door and take her out itself, so I set about role playing (stay with me here, I mean words not actions!). She needed to learn some sexual etiquette – I’d obviously missed the transition from my earlier pre-teen instructions of ‘be friendly, look people in the eye’ to what now called for ‘don’t be friendly, avoid eye contact at all costs!’
I was torn between wanting to be the substitute teenage peer and friend she didn’t have and try to discuss such things with her on the same open and niaive level and being a Mum, who up until the day before had asked her not to say ‘bloody’ or ‘damn’ – well you get the picture – this was going to be awkward.
The Rose and I agreed that what she mainly wanted to know was how to approach a kiss.
I thought, OK it’s going to be general information like; ‘who makes the first move’ or; ‘what should I say so I don’t appear too forward’. But The Rose had no time for those kinds of mysteries – no, she wanted to know – Lips? Tongue? Teeth? And in what order? And should she be standing up or sitting down?
I tried not to be appalled by her lack of reserve or even that she didn’t appear to be in anyway coy – so I decided to teach her words she could use in such situations – like a script, to protect her. We’d role play.
I sat on her bed and gathering in my best role-playing self, puckered up and breathed “Hey, The Rose, you’re gorgeous, do you mind if I kiss you?” She looked at me aghast. Lept up, fists clenched and rebellion in her eyes, “- euwww MUM! I’m not gay y’know ”.
Not my first knock back as it happens!